At the July 19th weekly meeting, President Thomas and Past President Frank performed this skit (from PETS, the President Elect Training Session) for the club members:

Confessions of Two Rotaryholics

THOMAS
My name is Name1 and I’m a Rotaryholic.
I really don’t know how it happened.

One day, a friend asked me to join this organization called Rotary. I went to one meeting, it looked like fun. I told my wife: “They meet for about an hour a week. We enjoy a meal, talk about stuff and do a community service project every now and then. I can afford an hour a week, for goodness sake”. 
 
FRANK
Hi, my name is Name2 and I too am a Rotaryholic. What’s an hour a week? And I will make some new friends and help the less fortunate.

What’s that? Our club’s going to help out with Habitat for Humanity next Saturday. Sure! After all, that’s why I joined – community service. It will be fun! You need some folks for the fund-raising committee? I haven’t done anything like that before, but … what the heck. 

THOMAS
Oh yeah, we need someone to volunteer to get the supplies for our Rib-Fest fundraiser next month. Anyone? Anyone? Oh I guess I can handle that.

You need some members to read to deliver dictionaries next week? Sure, why not. Those kids are always so appreciative.

You know, there are AIDS orphans in South Africa that need money so they can go to school and get an education so they’ll have a brighter future. Come on folks, we can help. Let’s put together a committee and see what we can do. 

FRANK
You need fresh water and improved sanitation after the earthquake in Haiti; sure we can raise money for that.

So the club needs volunteers to go house to house and collect food for the food bank. Sure, I can do that and I’ll get my wife and kids to help too.

No, we are not addicted to Rotary or anything like that. We can stop any time we want to. 

THOMAS
What’s that? Our President–elect just left the club and it’s April and we need someone to step up to the plate ‘cause PETS 2 is next week? Sure I can step in.

So, there’s an all-day training program called Club Leadership Training coming up on Saturday in April? Yeah, I guess I need to go.

What’s that? A District Conference in October – 3 days of fun, fellowship and inspiration? Count me in! Come on honey, you should come too. 
 
FRANK
Yes dear, it does seem like I’m spending a lot of my “free” time on Rotary, but it’s all good stuff. You know, we’re making the world a better place! Let’s take our vacation money and instead of lying on a beach somewhere, let’s go to India to combat polio.

The Foundation Dinner, you say? Great speaker, recognizing lots of clubs and individual contributors? The entire district is invited. It’s only $125 for the two of us! 

THOMAS
Oh, as a past club president you think I should serve as an Assistant Governor or at least serve on a District Committee. Yes, I guess I can make that fit. And I guess, no, I won’t drop off any of the club committees I’m already on.

So we need to find a host family for our Youth Exchange student for a few months? We REALLY need someone desperately… I’ll ask my wife and see if we can do it. It’s only for 3 months. We will have to repaint the bedroom. 
 
FRANK
What’s that, Director of Training? You’d like me to accept a leadership role at the District level? I’m flattered. Thank you for the honor….

Thank you for recognizing my work for the District for the last year… well, yes it’s been a lot of work but I’ve enjoyed it. What’s that? Another year? Well, thank you for the vote of confidence. It’s all for the good of Rotary.

What’s that you want me to do? A Rotary International Convention? Sure we can go to Japan or England or New Orleans. Let’s go honey. It will be fun. Let’s rationalize the cost as our vacation. We will get to be with 30,000 other Rotarians all in one place. Wow! 
 
THOMAS
Honestly. It started with just a little job here, a committee there, an event here, a project there... 

FRANK
Pretty soon, everyone around me was telling me: Hey man, you’re hooked. My son thinks I am in a sect of some kind. He say’s, “All you talk about is Rotary.” I tell him it can’t be a sect because it is non-political and non-religious. 
 
THOMAS
Things like Service Above Self, Rotaractors, Interactors, Earlyactors, PolioPlus, TRF, World Community Service, AGs, PEs, DGs, DGEs, DGNN’s, GSEs.

You know, I thought I found a 5-step program to get help. Turned out to be the 5 Avenues of Service! And now I realize I haven’t done anything lately for Vocational Service! Got to do something for Vocational Service…. I’m a TERRIBLE Rotarian! 
 
THOMAS & FRANK
We thought we could stop anytime. We were wrong. What can we say? 
 
THOMAS
My name is Name1 and I’m a Rotaryholic. 
 
FRANK
My name is Name2 and I’m a Rotaryholic.